I did end up going to the memorial tonight. I have had a change in my meds recently. I don't think they're working yet. I ended up having a panic attack. It was too loud and too many people. Everybody congregated at the door so I had to walk through a crowd. Everyone was hugging me trying to shake my hand and trying to talk to me all at once. I haven't been in a crowd in almost 10 years. I made it through until the end of the meeting and ran out the door as soon as it was done. Maybe tonight wasn't the best night to go. I was so embarrassed. I was shaking and sweating. It was horrible. When we got home I had to take a xanax. I think I will take baby steps next time. I was so embarrassed.